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Neighborhood Watch

August 11th, 2010 | Posted by Emily in Irrational Fears

Owning a home has turned me into an old lady. I called the cops last night to report a strange incident. It went a little something like this.

Dispatch: What would you like to report?

Me: There is a strange man on an adult tricycle lurking in my neighborhood. (yes, I said lurking)

Dispatch: Adult tricycle?

Me: Yes, it’s purple.

Dispatch: And he’s lurking?

Me: YES! (Obviously frustrated that this lady does not understand the gravity of the lurking so I elaborate). He’s riding his trike-y from house to house and looking in backyards and leering at people.

Dispatch: And you would like a police officer to come investigate?

Me: I don’t know! I am just nervous because of the leering and lurking. Plus, he’s obstructing traffic. (There’s the clincher!)

Dispatch: Okay, we’ll send someone out to investigate.

Me: Thank you.

After I hung up the phone, I watched through my drawn blinds as the cop came to talk to the guy. I realized that I must have given an awful description to the dispatch because when I went back through what I said, they probably were looking for someone like this:

Anyways, I realized that I have officially become an old lady, using words like “lurking and leering” and being fearful of adult-sized tricycles and the people who ride them. Daniel could probably list a million other reasons why I am becoming an old lady, but I think this one takes the cake.

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10 Responses

  • avatar micah says:

    better safe than sorry! and who rides an adult tricycle?!

  • avatar Sickel says:

    Leering lurkers on tricycles deserve what they get, I always say. Eh, that’s what the cops are there for anyway. I called 911 once to report wailing. Yes, there was a weird noise, I was home alone, and there was no way I was going out there!

  • avatar Mommy says:

    Honey, you are not an old lady… you were being safe and considering what happened this year with the rapist YOU DID THE RIGHT THING.
    You will know you are truly an old lady and by that I think you mean an old adult when you call 911 to report a noise in your garage like I did some years back … and it turned out to be our good old Eric dog which I had forgotten there. The police officers were very nice but I think they had a hard time not thinking I was crazy… perhaps even a bit of a drinker… (you know when you have a French accent … people tend to associate you with drinking wine!) Anyway, this was a long time ago and they did say “Better be safe than sorry” . So always be safe and call 911 if you feel the need to. After all… isn’t it what your taxes are for… to protect the citizens who pay them. Love. Mom

  • avatar Emily says:

    The fact that you described him riding a “trike-y” is amazing. I laughed so hard!

  • I’ve done the same thing several times. It’s up to us to keep out neighborhoods safe.

  • Um, I call when I see teenagers go into the park across the street in large numbers. Your situation could have been dangerous, but I’m trying to bust graffiti artists and pot smokers… who’s the old lady now?

  • avatar Amy says:

    Emily- I read this while doing a middle of the night feeding and I laughed harder than I have in years! “Trike-y” would have had me rolling on the floor if it hadn’t been for poor Lincoln trying to nurse! I could just picture all this playing out in my mind! Thanks for sharing!